Can You Survive a Day With Goop?

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Gwyneth Paltrow is throwing a wellness conference. Photo: D Dipasupil/Getty Images for Frederique Constant

For the person who has everything their jade vagina egg desires, there’s the next tier of Goopism: The Conference. Goop announced today that they’ll be throwing the first-ever . Held in Los Angeles, it will be a full day’s Goop with everything your chakra has yearned for: Crystal healing, sound baths, flower remedies, therapeutic workouts, IV drips, paired with, probiotics, By Chloe, Sweetgreen, and Moon Juice (obviously).

You can also sip bone broth with a number of VIPs including a medical medium (?), Dr. Alejandro Junger, and several doctors. Oh and Lena Dunham, Cameron Diaz, Nicole Richie, and Tory Burch will be there too. But before you get your crystals ready for charging, you’ll need to conjure up some money and “wellth.” There are three levels of Goop-conference access: Lapis ($500), Amethyst ($1000), and Clear Quartz ($1,500) that come with different levels of perks (you get lunch with Gwyneth Paltrow with Clear Quartz). None of the access levels include vaginal steaming though, but at least you can probably leave your shoes at home.

Can You Survive a Day With Goop?