royal wedding 2.0

Actually, This Is Just a Really Good Swimsuit

About ten years ago, I was driving through a suburb of Dallas and looked over to see a camel striding across some civilian’s rolling pasture. Then I saw another camel, and another one. The sight of three exotic creatures ambling down a hill unexpectedly was disorienting and horrible, extremely gross and extremely fascinating, like an old blister or fresh placenta (I have a photo of mine if you want to see). This is just how I felt upon viewing the above bathing suit.

In light of Royal Wedding Fever, people are apparently indulging in startlingly realistic royal-face . Please allow yourself some time to examine this one of Duchess Kate. The perfect alignment of hair to breast, vagina to chin, crow’s feet to rib — it’s mesmerizing. If you feel repelled by this rearrangement of bodily features, by the shock of a famous face overlaying an anonymous torso, I challenge you to push yourself further. Art’s job isn’t to make us feel comfortable.

Plus, the company capable of printing these beguiling garments is called Bags of Love. Order yours .